Attract Women With The Things You CAN Control
Listen up, when it comes to women and relationships...
however you'd like to define it... most men worry
about ALL the wrong things.
You see, I get questions... and read questions... about
whether "looks" are important for attraction ALL THE TIME.
And, when I say "looks", I'm really talking about a man's
face and many of the things that we have absolutely no
control over in our lives.
(As an aside, we have no control over where we come from
either, but we DO have control over where we go from there)
We really have no control on the actual structure of our
face... and quite frankly... the research shows conflicting
results when it comes to "facial beauty" and attraction.
In fact, research shows time and time again that the only
things that matter in our quest to be the best man
that we can be... reside in the things that we CAN control.
Here are the things that we ultimately CAN control:
Our haircut
Our clothes
Our character
Our body
Our finances
Our social circle
... plus a whole gaggle of other things that are all within
our control.
THESE are the things that matter the most to women (and other
people that may want to get to know us better).
Listen closely, because this is important:
The RESEARCH shows NO DIRECT correlation to facial beauty and
the type of woman that we'll end up with.
In fact, the ONLY things that matter can really be lumped into
4 distinct categories:
Social Status (most important)
Physical Attractiveness (your "look")
Social Dominance ("alpha" male trait, how you handle yourself)
Physical Dominance ("alpha" male trait, how you LOOK like you
can handle yourself)
The first one, Social Status is the most important criteria
that women look for when it comes to men (as proven by
research).
Naturally, social status means "who we are" in relation to
other people.
Think about this for a second, when a man tells another man that
he's seeing a new woman... what does the other man say?
"Cool man, what's she look like?"
Now, have you ever heard a conversation between two women about
a new guy? The response to the same question is usually:
"Great... what does he DO?"
... which naturally gives us a quick flash into a man's social
status.
Interestingly enough, if a men tells a woman that he's dating
a new woman, the woman will ask:
"What's she look like?"
... and on the other side, if a woman tells a man that she's
dating someone new, he usually asks:
"What does he do?"
So, both women AND men know, deep down that social status is
an important part of a woman's attraction process.
The second criterion, "physical attractiveness", is all about
our "look".
Studies show that our facial features don't really contribute
as much to physical attractiveness like all of the other things
that we CAN control (body, facial hair, haircut, clothes, etc)
Physical attractiveness stems from the "halo effect" whereas
women will make a "snap" judgment of you based upon our "look".
Make no mistake about it, our "look" is extremely important
to maintain as it gives a woman a great window into what our
lives are REALLY about.
The third criterion, social dominance is a little different
than social status. Social dominance has to do with our
leadership ability, our ability to handle ourselves in
social situations, our character, and our confidence in
ourselves.
These are all skills and lifestyle additions that can be
learned.
The fourth criterion, physical dominance, has to do with our
ability to take care of ourselves in a physical situation.
Can we fight? Can we physically take care of her if we
need to?
Do you LOOK like we can? (ie, do you look like a wuss?)
All of these criteria that research proves are MOST IMPORTANT
to a woman... can ALL be either learned or developed.
Again, it's the things that you CAN control that matter the
most.
If you don't think so, I can show you COUNTLESS numbers of
great looking men... that have no character, no ambition,
and no status... that date WAY UNDER their "potential" in
the "looks" category.
Most of these men end up leading pitiful lives because they
think that their looks are going to get them anywhere they
want.
But they continue to live in mediocrity.
On the other hand, I can think of plenty of people that
don't have great "looks", but have everything that they
CAN control IN control.
A perfect example would be Jay-Z.
Face wise, he's always getting joked on. Yet, I'm always
hearing women say how hot he is.
Think about that.
But whats the answer then... in layman's terms.
Point blank: We need to improve what we CAN improve EVERY
DAY.
A good place to start... our bodies.
Studies prove that people that make significant advances
in their bodies also reap other "side effects" in the other
4 criteria that women ultimately look for in a man.
Think about how an improved body improves confidence,
which improves social status and social dominance.
And, of course, it's quite obvious that improving your
body will improve your physical "look" and your physical
dominance, right?
Friday, October 24, 2008
Things You Should Never Say to a Woman
Things You Should Never Say to a Woman
As a sophisticated man of the 21st century, you already know this. You know you're not supposed to comment on your girlfriend's weight, or tell her that her friends are hot. And you know she probably feels the same way you do about the phrase, "Can we still be friends?"
Additionally, you've found that honesty, while valued in most situations, can sometimes offend. What you say to defuse tension in an argument often stokes the fire. We understand that the female psyche can be complicated, and we're here to demystify what may seem like strategically placed trapdoors.
Here are 10 things most women don't want to hear:
1) "What did you do to your hair?"
Unless we've cut our own hair—this is not common—someone else did something to our hair. It wasn't us. And most likely we've gone to a lot of trouble and expense for it. "I like your new haircut" is infinitely better, and shows you're paying attention. It's also far superior to the generic "You look different," which tells us you're as clueless as ever.
2) "They both look the same to me."
We understand you care a lot less than we do about the outfits or the registry dishware we're asking you to compare. But they can't possibly look exactly the same, can they? Give us something. Anything. Mentally roll the dice and pick one, so we don't worry about your vision—or worse, that you don't care.
3) "Relax."
A kissing cousin to "Don't get so worked up," this generally creates the exact opposite effect you're shooting for. When you say "Relax," what we hear is that you think that we're being irrational over nothing, and this makes us do anything but relax.
4) "I've got it all under control."
Ha! Famous last words. Refrain from using them if you don't want us to take fiendish delight in your getting lost because you won't stop for directions (if we're late, there will be fiendish fuming), or because you're missing a piece to your flat-screen television because you said you didn't need to read the assembly instructions.
5) "You're not one of those feminists, are you?"
Yikes. Chivalry may be nearly dead, but saying this will drive the last spear through its heart. Feminist or not, a woman is likely to be offended by the question. Just be yourself. Be kind, open the door, offer to pay, and go from there. We can choose to accept or share in your generosity.
6) "When are you due?"
Take one second to imagine a woman turning to you and responding, "I'm not pregnant," or "I had the baby six months ago," and you'll understand why you should eradicate this question from your vocabulary. In one nanosecond, innocent—even considerate—curiosity can turn to deadly, if unintentional, offense. And there's just no way to recover from this one.
7) "You're being emotional."
In the heat of the moment this may be true. But unless you want your partner to become more emotional or get angry, you're better off keeping this observation and its off-limits follow-up question—"Is it that time of month?"—to yourself.
8) "You're acting just like your mother/my mother/my ex-girlfriend."
All three are problematic. An ex should be mentioned sparingly, and never in comparison. Why would we want to remind you of a person you broke up with? And come to mention it, why are you thinking about her? You see the slippery slope. Conjuring an image of our mother or your mother can be equally grating. We want you to treat us as individuals and not as mere products of your (or our) upbringing.
9) "You complete me."
We understand that the possibility of romance makes inexplicable things come out of a man's—and sometimes a woman's—mouth, but keep the compliments real and honest and sincere and say you love someone when you mean it.
10) "Do you really think you should be eating that?"
Yes. She should be eating it. Even if she told you she's given it up.
As a sophisticated man of the 21st century, you already know this. You know you're not supposed to comment on your girlfriend's weight, or tell her that her friends are hot. And you know she probably feels the same way you do about the phrase, "Can we still be friends?"
Additionally, you've found that honesty, while valued in most situations, can sometimes offend. What you say to defuse tension in an argument often stokes the fire. We understand that the female psyche can be complicated, and we're here to demystify what may seem like strategically placed trapdoors.
Here are 10 things most women don't want to hear:
1) "What did you do to your hair?"
Unless we've cut our own hair—this is not common—someone else did something to our hair. It wasn't us. And most likely we've gone to a lot of trouble and expense for it. "I like your new haircut" is infinitely better, and shows you're paying attention. It's also far superior to the generic "You look different," which tells us you're as clueless as ever.
2) "They both look the same to me."
We understand you care a lot less than we do about the outfits or the registry dishware we're asking you to compare. But they can't possibly look exactly the same, can they? Give us something. Anything. Mentally roll the dice and pick one, so we don't worry about your vision—or worse, that you don't care.
3) "Relax."
A kissing cousin to "Don't get so worked up," this generally creates the exact opposite effect you're shooting for. When you say "Relax," what we hear is that you think that we're being irrational over nothing, and this makes us do anything but relax.
4) "I've got it all under control."
Ha! Famous last words. Refrain from using them if you don't want us to take fiendish delight in your getting lost because you won't stop for directions (if we're late, there will be fiendish fuming), or because you're missing a piece to your flat-screen television because you said you didn't need to read the assembly instructions.
5) "You're not one of those feminists, are you?"
Yikes. Chivalry may be nearly dead, but saying this will drive the last spear through its heart. Feminist or not, a woman is likely to be offended by the question. Just be yourself. Be kind, open the door, offer to pay, and go from there. We can choose to accept or share in your generosity.
6) "When are you due?"
Take one second to imagine a woman turning to you and responding, "I'm not pregnant," or "I had the baby six months ago," and you'll understand why you should eradicate this question from your vocabulary. In one nanosecond, innocent—even considerate—curiosity can turn to deadly, if unintentional, offense. And there's just no way to recover from this one.
7) "You're being emotional."
In the heat of the moment this may be true. But unless you want your partner to become more emotional or get angry, you're better off keeping this observation and its off-limits follow-up question—"Is it that time of month?"—to yourself.
8) "You're acting just like your mother/my mother/my ex-girlfriend."
All three are problematic. An ex should be mentioned sparingly, and never in comparison. Why would we want to remind you of a person you broke up with? And come to mention it, why are you thinking about her? You see the slippery slope. Conjuring an image of our mother or your mother can be equally grating. We want you to treat us as individuals and not as mere products of your (or our) upbringing.
9) "You complete me."
We understand that the possibility of romance makes inexplicable things come out of a man's—and sometimes a woman's—mouth, but keep the compliments real and honest and sincere and say you love someone when you mean it.
10) "Do you really think you should be eating that?"
Yes. She should be eating it. Even if she told you she's given it up.
How Not To Be “Friend Material”
How Not To Be “Friend Material”
You’re talking away; making her laugh, and also making some great connections with her too! More than once, she has grabbed your arm; she’s even pushed her body close to yours a number of times. The I.O. Is here are major. It’s a no brainer, she’s yours for the taking.
Or is she?
When it comes to number close, she may be more than happy to give you her number, but when you arrange a date; I wonder if she will turn up in a sexy plunge neck dress or a casual loose fitting t-shirt. I wonder if she even bothers to wear make up for you. So in this case, the date you thought you were going on is probably not, in her eyes, a date at all. Why?
Because you became the dreaded…. (Dramatic drum roll please)
“MALE FRIEND”
We will look at the following:
How did this happen?
What are those tell tale signs that show you she sees you only as friend potential.
How to prevent this from happening!
How on earth did you get in to this mess?
Simple. Lets break this down; on one hand you have a been a brilliant
conversationalist, you have made some deep connections with her, and so she feels you really understand her, not just as a woman but as a human being as well. You’re also unbelievably funny, and have had her laughing hard countless times through out the interaction.
As a result of all these great accomplishments she feels she can relax, let down her guard and really be herself in front of you. Here is where a key problem lies. It obviously beneficial for you to make sure she’s relaxed, however it is not beneficial to her so relaxed that she feels she can show you all her flaws, whats happened here is she is now so totally in her comfort zone that she feels no need to make any effort to impress you.
Next, what is missing here is a vital ingredient. You have not initiated any sexual tension in to the conversation. This would be a lot easier to do if you had made sure you were in higher status than her. But unfortunately what has happened in this situation is that you have made levels of status equal (better than your status level being lower of course) but this can lead to friendship, as friendships are usually based on equality of the relationship.
Signs that she is seeing you as potential friend material
• She talks about her ex-boyfriend
• She talks too much about other men
• She is not caring how she is coming across general
• She tells you too many of her private problems such as;
o Medical
o Ex boyfriends
o Problems at work
o Problems with her friends
o Periods
(Remember you’re not an agony aunt!)
She’s not asking you too many questions about your self
She’s shows barely any, or no, reaction to your touches
She keeps describing you as “so sweet” or “adorable” or says things such as “oh how cute” when you say something. Any puppy dog terminology is usually not a good thing.
She is not bothered if you show any interest in other woman.
She is happy to leave you with her friends as she goes off temporarily to attend to other matters.
If you give her any criticism she will laugh.
She’s happy to tell you her opinions on everything whether you like it or not.
How you can prevent all this.
If you regularly have this problem then my suggestion to you is to nip it in the bud!
From as early as the first second to the first 10 minutes introduce at least a hint of sexual element in to the interaction.
There is no problem in letting a girl know you think she’s hot, as long as you execute it with a serious and matter of fact expression. Don’t make a big deal about saying “wow, you look hot” and don’t wait for her reaction. Instead hold her gaze and then move on casually to the next subject as if you are totally in control and fully aware of your alpha like comment.
Remember, she has to start earning any more compliments.
This will also destroy completely the chance of you becoming her friend; she will subconsciously cross out that avenue. So now its whether she likes you in that way or not. (2 option rather than 3)
What you do if she begins to show any of the above signs
Lets take, for example, her bringing up the ex-boyfriend. Make it clear to her that although it’s an interesting subject and one you can see she feels deeply about, perhaps it’s best if she discussed it with her girlfriends and not you.
If she begins to show little or no care on how she is coming across, for instance getting to much in her comfort zone. Keep giving her small tasks and let her know that your standards are very high on how a lady should behave. For instance if vulgarities something you find unattractive (and is usually, by the way, a sign the woman is seeing you as a fellow party pal) then let her know how she’s let you down, by pointing out the fact they you thought she was different from the woman in here and that it was her elegance that made you talk to her in the first place.
Watch how she straightens her back and tucks her bra strap back in to position faster than you can imagine.
If she leaves you with her friends and wanders off, this is a bad sign, it means she couldn’t care less if they make a move on you or you make a move on them.
Counteract this by firstly introducing your friends to her friends, which will make her feel left out. And on her return, punish her by making a phone call as soon as she sits down, go off with your phone call and leave her friends talking with your friends as she sits there bored and feeling left out, she will begin to miss you and might value your company a little more.
Note:
Please remember women love to please men. We enjoy looking good for you guys; in fact it’s a bit of obsession.
Look in any woman’s magazines and see what percentage of the articles is dedicated to pleasing men, whether it is through; makeup, dieting, fashion or cooking. Once we feel there’s no need to please you, it’s as if the fun is over, for girls as well as guys the chase is can be better than the catch.
Remember; take control of the situation, if you become “friendship material” then you have yourself to blame, you can manipulate the conversation whenever you choose, you can inject sexual tension whenever you decide. The only reason you became friend material would have been because you allowed her to feel so relaxed that she had little or no work to do at all.
By all means make sure she is relaxed, but take advantage when someone is in a relaxed state of mind. Remember the power of suggestion will be come much more powerful when in that state. Do this rather than allow her to feel you are simply another shoulder to cry on, or part time doctor she can reveal gross medical problems to, or a psychiatrist where she can discuss her ex-boyfriends commitment problems he might have had.
You have plenty of friends, you don need another right? Unless of course you see her as friend material in that case go right ahead and discuss her periods and ex-boyfriends with her!
You’re talking away; making her laugh, and also making some great connections with her too! More than once, she has grabbed your arm; she’s even pushed her body close to yours a number of times. The I.O. Is here are major. It’s a no brainer, she’s yours for the taking.
Or is she?
When it comes to number close, she may be more than happy to give you her number, but when you arrange a date; I wonder if she will turn up in a sexy plunge neck dress or a casual loose fitting t-shirt. I wonder if she even bothers to wear make up for you. So in this case, the date you thought you were going on is probably not, in her eyes, a date at all. Why?
Because you became the dreaded…. (Dramatic drum roll please)
“MALE FRIEND”
We will look at the following:
How did this happen?
What are those tell tale signs that show you she sees you only as friend potential.
How to prevent this from happening!
How on earth did you get in to this mess?
Simple. Lets break this down; on one hand you have a been a brilliant
conversationalist, you have made some deep connections with her, and so she feels you really understand her, not just as a woman but as a human being as well. You’re also unbelievably funny, and have had her laughing hard countless times through out the interaction.
As a result of all these great accomplishments she feels she can relax, let down her guard and really be herself in front of you. Here is where a key problem lies. It obviously beneficial for you to make sure she’s relaxed, however it is not beneficial to her so relaxed that she feels she can show you all her flaws, whats happened here is she is now so totally in her comfort zone that she feels no need to make any effort to impress you.
Next, what is missing here is a vital ingredient. You have not initiated any sexual tension in to the conversation. This would be a lot easier to do if you had made sure you were in higher status than her. But unfortunately what has happened in this situation is that you have made levels of status equal (better than your status level being lower of course) but this can lead to friendship, as friendships are usually based on equality of the relationship.
Signs that she is seeing you as potential friend material
• She talks about her ex-boyfriend
• She talks too much about other men
• She is not caring how she is coming across general
• She tells you too many of her private problems such as;
o Medical
o Ex boyfriends
o Problems at work
o Problems with her friends
o Periods
(Remember you’re not an agony aunt!)
She’s not asking you too many questions about your self
She’s shows barely any, or no, reaction to your touches
She keeps describing you as “so sweet” or “adorable” or says things such as “oh how cute” when you say something. Any puppy dog terminology is usually not a good thing.
She is not bothered if you show any interest in other woman.
She is happy to leave you with her friends as she goes off temporarily to attend to other matters.
If you give her any criticism she will laugh.
She’s happy to tell you her opinions on everything whether you like it or not.
How you can prevent all this.
If you regularly have this problem then my suggestion to you is to nip it in the bud!
From as early as the first second to the first 10 minutes introduce at least a hint of sexual element in to the interaction.
There is no problem in letting a girl know you think she’s hot, as long as you execute it with a serious and matter of fact expression. Don’t make a big deal about saying “wow, you look hot” and don’t wait for her reaction. Instead hold her gaze and then move on casually to the next subject as if you are totally in control and fully aware of your alpha like comment.
Remember, she has to start earning any more compliments.
This will also destroy completely the chance of you becoming her friend; she will subconsciously cross out that avenue. So now its whether she likes you in that way or not. (2 option rather than 3)
What you do if she begins to show any of the above signs
Lets take, for example, her bringing up the ex-boyfriend. Make it clear to her that although it’s an interesting subject and one you can see she feels deeply about, perhaps it’s best if she discussed it with her girlfriends and not you.
If she begins to show little or no care on how she is coming across, for instance getting to much in her comfort zone. Keep giving her small tasks and let her know that your standards are very high on how a lady should behave. For instance if vulgarities something you find unattractive (and is usually, by the way, a sign the woman is seeing you as a fellow party pal) then let her know how she’s let you down, by pointing out the fact they you thought she was different from the woman in here and that it was her elegance that made you talk to her in the first place.
Watch how she straightens her back and tucks her bra strap back in to position faster than you can imagine.
If she leaves you with her friends and wanders off, this is a bad sign, it means she couldn’t care less if they make a move on you or you make a move on them.
Counteract this by firstly introducing your friends to her friends, which will make her feel left out. And on her return, punish her by making a phone call as soon as she sits down, go off with your phone call and leave her friends talking with your friends as she sits there bored and feeling left out, she will begin to miss you and might value your company a little more.
Note:
Please remember women love to please men. We enjoy looking good for you guys; in fact it’s a bit of obsession.
Look in any woman’s magazines and see what percentage of the articles is dedicated to pleasing men, whether it is through; makeup, dieting, fashion or cooking. Once we feel there’s no need to please you, it’s as if the fun is over, for girls as well as guys the chase is can be better than the catch.
Remember; take control of the situation, if you become “friendship material” then you have yourself to blame, you can manipulate the conversation whenever you choose, you can inject sexual tension whenever you decide. The only reason you became friend material would have been because you allowed her to feel so relaxed that she had little or no work to do at all.
By all means make sure she is relaxed, but take advantage when someone is in a relaxed state of mind. Remember the power of suggestion will be come much more powerful when in that state. Do this rather than allow her to feel you are simply another shoulder to cry on, or part time doctor she can reveal gross medical problems to, or a psychiatrist where she can discuss her ex-boyfriends commitment problems he might have had.
You have plenty of friends, you don need another right? Unless of course you see her as friend material in that case go right ahead and discuss her periods and ex-boyfriends with her!
Train Your Mind
Train Your Mind
Disciplining your mind so that it is focused on your goals is crucial to your success. If your mind is not trained to focus on and achieve your goals then you really have no chance at success. Your mind is a direct link to your subconscious mind; if your mind is focused on your goals and is trained to achieve those goals then your subconscious mind will also be focused on these goals and will attract the situations and opportunities for you to achieve the success you want.
When your mind is focused on the results of those goals you'll take the action necessary to follow up and make sure you achieve those goals. The minute you get distracted for a prolonged period - you lose sight of your objective and fail to accomplish those goals.
Think of it this way, you're riding in a car driven by your personal driver and every time your driver asks you where you want to go you simply say: "I don't know. Wherever you want to go is fine with me." Then when your driver takes you to the place of his choice you complain and say: "I don't want to be here, take me somewhere else." And again you say you don't know where you want to go.
If you don't train your mind to focus on your goals then your subconscious mind cannot create the situations that will help you achieve those goals and in the end your subconscious gets confused - thus creating more confusion for you -- and you end up exactly where you don't want to be.
Let's go back to the example of your personal driver. Wouldn't it be a lot easier and more comfortable if you told your driver where you wanted to go - or even better - your driver knew where you wanted to go ahead of time? The latter will never happen if you don't train your driver or work with him to develop the ability to go where you want when you want.
Your mind is your driver - give it the right instructions and your subconscious mind will follow up by creating the opportunities for you to get to where you want to be.
When you have your mind focused on your goals you begin to find solutions and discover opportunities to help you achieve your goals. Your responsibility is to follow up on these opportunities.
How You Can Train Your Mind
Believe it or not I get a lot of calls and emails everyday from people who want to achieve their goals but simply can't get their mind to focus on the tasks that need to be done in order to have the success that they want. This happens because the mind is simply not used to focusing on your goals and following up with completing those tasks. Simply put - your mind is just not used to doing this. So how do you get your mind to change? How do you train your mind?
The first step is to get the mind to stop doing what it is used to doing - or break the pattern that you've been following for so long. This will require some effort - but keep in mind that the reward is to be able to live the life you want and enjoy the level of success that you desire.
First start by going through your normal routine, then when you see yourself getting distracted and not following up on things that you wanted to do break the pattern. You can do this by doing something else, you can start following up on what you had planned to do, you can create a list and follow up with it regularly to see if you are on track. One thing that always works is to think about your goals every morning. As your in bed, think about your goals and think about what you can do to achieve them during the day.
If you find you constantly say: "I don't know what do to do to achieve them." Then you're not looking for answers in the right place. Take a look at what other people have done to achieve similar goals and see if you can follow the same process. For example: If you want to make more money take a look at someone else who has made a lot of money and see what they've done. Can you follow their process? Maybe you can even talk to them about the process? If you want to meet someone and be in a healthy relationship, talk to a friend who is in a successful relationship and find out what they did.
By doing the above exercises you train your mind to focus on finding solutions while at the same time you direct your subconscious mind to create the opportunities for you to succeed. Another important event takes place as well - you begin to create a new pattern of thinking and thus you start to train the mind to work differently. You're now telling your driver where you want to go.
A lot of times I get a comment similar to this from students: "Karim, I just can't seem to concentrate. My mind is all over the place, what can I do?" First understand that you're not going to magically get your mind to focus or concentrate without you taking some form of action. When you finally do take some action your mind will still resist -- but as you continue taking action the resistance will subside. So what action can you take?
First start with the exercise I just outlined above. Next - meditate. Meditation is one of the best ways to relax and calm your mind while training it to focus better. When you meditate you actually start to clear the clutter that dominates your mind. Another step that can follow is to train the mind by working with other techniques that get you focused on your goals. You can work with affirmations, visualization, get the mind to see possibilities instead of limitations, energize your mind and body by brining in the feeling of accomplishing your goals.
Make The Time
Finally I wanted to touch on one important topic that keeps coming up. It seems a lot of people have come to believe that they just don't have the time to achieve their goals. If you are one of the many who of people who believes this then you've really convinced yourself that your goals are not worthy of your time. Because if they were you would make the time for them. I'm not talking about spending an entire day or even a few hours. It's only a few minutes at different intervals. Why try to get everything crammed into one hour? Why not try to work with different techniques at different intervals during the day? For example: you may have a few minutes while you're taking a walk. Work with a technique. You could do some of these exercises while you're taking a shower, driving, walking, anytime. Here's a suggestion; the next time you are driving or taking a shower, pay attention to your thoughts. Are these thoughts actually working for your or against you? Would it be better to focus on your goals or keep recycling the negative clutter or junk in your head? The choice is yours - and taking action is really about taking a small step.
You don't need to spend hours meditating. Even if you simply mediated for 5 or 10 minutes a day you'd be able to increase your ability to concentrate and focus by a 100-percent within a matter of days! Do it for weeks or months and you'll have dramatic results. The Creating Power system is designed to fit into your everyday lifestyle. With Creating Power you don't have to do lengthy exercises for hours at a time. These exercises are structured so that you do them during the day -- and train your mind while it is consciously active
Disciplining your mind so that it is focused on your goals is crucial to your success. If your mind is not trained to focus on and achieve your goals then you really have no chance at success. Your mind is a direct link to your subconscious mind; if your mind is focused on your goals and is trained to achieve those goals then your subconscious mind will also be focused on these goals and will attract the situations and opportunities for you to achieve the success you want.
When your mind is focused on the results of those goals you'll take the action necessary to follow up and make sure you achieve those goals. The minute you get distracted for a prolonged period - you lose sight of your objective and fail to accomplish those goals.
Think of it this way, you're riding in a car driven by your personal driver and every time your driver asks you where you want to go you simply say: "I don't know. Wherever you want to go is fine with me." Then when your driver takes you to the place of his choice you complain and say: "I don't want to be here, take me somewhere else." And again you say you don't know where you want to go.
If you don't train your mind to focus on your goals then your subconscious mind cannot create the situations that will help you achieve those goals and in the end your subconscious gets confused - thus creating more confusion for you -- and you end up exactly where you don't want to be.
Let's go back to the example of your personal driver. Wouldn't it be a lot easier and more comfortable if you told your driver where you wanted to go - or even better - your driver knew where you wanted to go ahead of time? The latter will never happen if you don't train your driver or work with him to develop the ability to go where you want when you want.
Your mind is your driver - give it the right instructions and your subconscious mind will follow up by creating the opportunities for you to get to where you want to be.
When you have your mind focused on your goals you begin to find solutions and discover opportunities to help you achieve your goals. Your responsibility is to follow up on these opportunities.
How You Can Train Your Mind
Believe it or not I get a lot of calls and emails everyday from people who want to achieve their goals but simply can't get their mind to focus on the tasks that need to be done in order to have the success that they want. This happens because the mind is simply not used to focusing on your goals and following up with completing those tasks. Simply put - your mind is just not used to doing this. So how do you get your mind to change? How do you train your mind?
The first step is to get the mind to stop doing what it is used to doing - or break the pattern that you've been following for so long. This will require some effort - but keep in mind that the reward is to be able to live the life you want and enjoy the level of success that you desire.
First start by going through your normal routine, then when you see yourself getting distracted and not following up on things that you wanted to do break the pattern. You can do this by doing something else, you can start following up on what you had planned to do, you can create a list and follow up with it regularly to see if you are on track. One thing that always works is to think about your goals every morning. As your in bed, think about your goals and think about what you can do to achieve them during the day.
If you find you constantly say: "I don't know what do to do to achieve them." Then you're not looking for answers in the right place. Take a look at what other people have done to achieve similar goals and see if you can follow the same process. For example: If you want to make more money take a look at someone else who has made a lot of money and see what they've done. Can you follow their process? Maybe you can even talk to them about the process? If you want to meet someone and be in a healthy relationship, talk to a friend who is in a successful relationship and find out what they did.
By doing the above exercises you train your mind to focus on finding solutions while at the same time you direct your subconscious mind to create the opportunities for you to succeed. Another important event takes place as well - you begin to create a new pattern of thinking and thus you start to train the mind to work differently. You're now telling your driver where you want to go.
A lot of times I get a comment similar to this from students: "Karim, I just can't seem to concentrate. My mind is all over the place, what can I do?" First understand that you're not going to magically get your mind to focus or concentrate without you taking some form of action. When you finally do take some action your mind will still resist -- but as you continue taking action the resistance will subside. So what action can you take?
First start with the exercise I just outlined above. Next - meditate. Meditation is one of the best ways to relax and calm your mind while training it to focus better. When you meditate you actually start to clear the clutter that dominates your mind. Another step that can follow is to train the mind by working with other techniques that get you focused on your goals. You can work with affirmations, visualization, get the mind to see possibilities instead of limitations, energize your mind and body by brining in the feeling of accomplishing your goals.
Make The Time
Finally I wanted to touch on one important topic that keeps coming up. It seems a lot of people have come to believe that they just don't have the time to achieve their goals. If you are one of the many who of people who believes this then you've really convinced yourself that your goals are not worthy of your time. Because if they were you would make the time for them. I'm not talking about spending an entire day or even a few hours. It's only a few minutes at different intervals. Why try to get everything crammed into one hour? Why not try to work with different techniques at different intervals during the day? For example: you may have a few minutes while you're taking a walk. Work with a technique. You could do some of these exercises while you're taking a shower, driving, walking, anytime. Here's a suggestion; the next time you are driving or taking a shower, pay attention to your thoughts. Are these thoughts actually working for your or against you? Would it be better to focus on your goals or keep recycling the negative clutter or junk in your head? The choice is yours - and taking action is really about taking a small step.
You don't need to spend hours meditating. Even if you simply mediated for 5 or 10 minutes a day you'd be able to increase your ability to concentrate and focus by a 100-percent within a matter of days! Do it for weeks or months and you'll have dramatic results. The Creating Power system is designed to fit into your everyday lifestyle. With Creating Power you don't have to do lengthy exercises for hours at a time. These exercises are structured so that you do them during the day -- and train your mind while it is consciously active
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